The Babushka Revolution
By Tyler Wiltgen, Montana State University

    In Moscow, there is an underground movement aimed at destroying the current government and social structure of Russia and eventually the world.  Armed with their bags and scarves, the Babushkas (grandmother in Russian) have taken to the streets wreaking havoc among vendors and unsuspecting tourists. 

    “We won’t pay 5 rubles for a loaf of bread!” they say.
    “Get out of my way, boy from Pennsylvania!” they chant.

     The Babushka Revolution, as it is called, has amassed five million members in Moscow alone, and controls the economy of the city.  It is claimed that every ruble passed in Russia is influenced by a babushka.  Babushkan commerce extends from selling combs to hats, and even puppets in some instances.  Some businesses run by these sly ladies are said to use business practices aimed at destroying the competition, such as the case of the cabbage salad monopoly run by a sweet little woman near the Pushkinskaya metro station.

Local Babushka Chapter 65 hard at work peddling their wares

   The finance world isn’t the only area of control exhibited by the babushkas.  Moscow police are extremely afraid of their ever-growing presence, and have taken drastic measures to try to corral the babushka threat.  One unsuspecting young man named Andy Flinchbaugh accidentally nudged a cigarette selling babushka into a mud puddle.  She got her shoes dirty and needless to say, we haven’t heard from Andy in quite some time.  Though police are trying to end the problem, some officers are “bought” by these cute little ladies.  One the biggest cases of police corruption brought to light payments of daily pastries to an officer in the Moscow suburb of Dmitrov.  In return, the guilty officer was allowing the Dmitrov Babushka League to use the city’s cathedral as a sock-knitting factory.

    Though many feel that the babushkas domination must be stopped, others are of the opinion that the oppression created by these women is a good thing for Russia.  In some cases, these small destroyers have been spotted clearing sidewalks of ice and helping people into metro cars (if you consider jabbing people with their elbows help).  They are among the more pleasant people in Moscow.  In my experience, the lady that sells the Siberian combs near our hostel has become extremely friendly, since I bought six combs from her.

   No matter how you view the presence of the babushkas, one thing is for certain: they are here to stay.  Misha, one of the Russian students, offered some advice on dealing with the babushkas.  Never ask a babushka if she will give you her seat on the metro.  Never try to haggle prices with a babushka, and never give a babushka your phone number after you have offended her accidentally.  If you keep these things in mind, you will be safe during the Babushka Revolution.

     Ever since our first rides on the Moscow Metro, we have noticed a strange habit of Russians in the oh-so-romantic trains and tunnels of this transportation system. It seems they really do find the metro to be a good location to sit on each other’s laps, and kiss. We’ve also seen moments that probably qualify for some sort of mention in the Guinness Book of World Records?

Two lovers strolling through downtown

    Why are they all so publicly affectionate? In a country that despises any sort of emotional expressions outside of the home, it seems that it’s ok to enjoy the occasional metro make out session. They are very affectionate towards each other, at least while dating. They do the same things while dating as Americans: go to the movies, go for walks, or eat in a café. However, the guy is always expected to pay for everything, and usually is the one to initiate the relationship. In most cases, Russians tend to marry young, and have children right away. The average age for a woman to get married is 21.8, and for men, approximately 24. Women not married by 24 or 25 are labeled as old maids. However, in 2001, 76% of marriages ended in divorce, a huge change from the 1950 statistic of only 4%. Here in Moscow, most families only have one child. Apartments are too small, and there isn’t enough money to support more children. However, some Muscovites feel differently. Ivan Kapustin, MSAU said, “I would like to have 3, 4, or 5 children, and they will make the world a better place.” It’s good that Ivan would like to have more children, as Russia’s birth rate is not matching that of the death rate, and has already fallen to 7^th, behind Pakistan, in population numbers. Our Russian teacher, Vera, was shocked to hear that Heather McCartney’s family in Montana has 7 children, and that Daniel Fyock (Penn State University) has 4 sisters.

     Differences in ages are not looked upon as being detrimental to the marriage, as it is usually viewed in the United States. We have noticed a definite pattern of older men dating younger women, with an age difference of 10-15 years. This might be partly due to the emphasis placed on finding a husband with a good job that can provide a high standard of living. Irina Tulchinskaya, MSAU, said, “I would like a husband who can take care of me, but in case anything would happen, I want to have a good job so I can support myself.” While husbands with well paying jobs are in high demand, respect is also high on Ira’s list of husband qualities.

    While all women want a husband who respects and thinks highly of her, I think I’ll leave the record-breaking metro make outs to the Russians.

From Russia with Love

By Olivia Yu with input from Becky, Katie, Daniel, Heather, and Sandra 

We wish to dedicate these songs to special people that we shared our Moscow adventure with.  Let the good times roll!

To Daniel

From Heather with love: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” Offspring
From Katie: “Milk Cow Blues” George Strait
From Becky: “How Do You Milk a Cow” Cletus T. Judd
From Olivia: “Time of Your Life” Greenday
 

To Katie

From Heather with cheers: “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and “Passionate Kisses” Mary Chapin Carpenter
From Becky: “Every song George Strait ever wrote and others he sang in the shower”
From Olivia: “Beautiful Day” U2
From Daniel: “There’s a Tear in My Beer” Hank Williams Sr.
 

To Becky

From Heather: “Small Town Saturday Night” Hal Ketchum
From Katie: “Gimme Back My Bullets” Lynyrd Skynyrd
From Olivia: “Somewhere Out There” Disney’s An American Tail
From Daniel: “Wide Open Spaces” Dixie Chicks
From Sandra: “I’m a Cowboy” Smokin’ Armadillos
 

To Heather

From Katie: “Drug Buddy” The Lemonheads
From Becky: “Small Town” Bruce Springsteen
From Olivia: “Shiny Happy People” REM
From Daniel: “Bouncing Around the Room” Phish
From Sandra: “Bouncing Off the Walls Again” and “Lovin’ is All I Got” Sublime
 

To Sandra

From Heather: “The Auctioneer Song” and “Mambo #5”
From Katie: “Shout” Tears for Fears
From Becky: “Great Green Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts”
From Olivia: “Dreams” Cranberries
From Daniel: “Don’t Speak” No Doubt
 

To Tyler

From Heather: “Trashy Women” Confederate Railroad
From Katie: “Fly Me to the Moon” George Strait and Frank Sinatra
From Becky: “The NCAA March Madness Theme Song”
From Olivia: “True Colors” Phil Collins
From Daniel: “Hot for Teacher” Van Halen
From Sandra: “Los Ketchup”
 

To Olivia

From Heather: “Kung Fu Fighting”
From Katie: “Good Day Sunshine” The Beatles
From Becky: “Two Pina Coladas” Garth Brooks
From Daniel: “Winnie the Pooh” theme song
From Sandra: “Everything Zen” Bush

To Dr. Parsons from Sandra: “Welcome to the Jungle” Guns n’ Roses

To everyone not from Montana from Heather: “Meet Me in Montana” Dan Seals

To the Guys from the Girls: “We’re Not Going to Take It” Twisted Sister

To everybody back home from Sandra: “Leaving On a Jet plane” Peter, Paul and Mary

To the Moscow Pinochle Club from Becky: “I Have Nothing” Whitney Houston

To Mom and my family: “Mama I’m Coming Home” Ozzie Osbourne

To Andy from Katie: “Run” and “Ocean Front Property” George Strait

To The Girls from Daniel “Angel” Dave Mathews Band & “Guys do it all the Time” Mindy McCready

A few of the CD’s that we found song dedications on

A Day in the Life of an Underwear Vendor
By Becky Kossler, Montana State University

    If you’ve ever taken a walk from Hostel #5 heading due east, you might notice a small market of vendors lined up along your way.  Here you can find radio equipment, fruit, music, and various articles of clothing.  Coming fresh off the plane from the land of Wal-Marts to arrive in this market might make one consider the reasons for a market economy to encourage displaying underwear outside with such gusto.  Actually, Americans could learn a lesson or two in the advantages of buying and selling the universally needed undergarments in the open market place.

    Russia’s answer to Big Kmart is not only more pleasant (instead of florescent lighting, you have the natural weather elements) but substantially more practical.  Imagine being late and running behind on your laundry.  Instead of the typical “tub scrub” and hang dry, which can take hours even with a blow dryer, one can simply hop down the street and buy a matching brazier and underwear set for the day at a reasonable price.

     In the underwear section of stores in America, often color choices and style options are lacking, and choosing correct sizes difficult amidst the bulk packaging.  Specialty stores like Victoria’s Secret offers many colors and designs but at prices that the average person cannot afford regularly.  The Moscow underwear vendor world offers the most fashionable selections within any price range for the average consumer.  From lace and cotton to satin and silk, the customer is appeased.

A local underwear vendor's booth, where merchandise is freely displayed

     Being employed in the underwear business in Russia is a very social occupation.  Once someone is a part of the vendor community, the connections they develop are endless. Think of bonding with the fruit lady three booths down by arranging both products in the same color pattern.  On those bitter cold Moscow days, one could focus the front of the booth on fleece undergarments, thus correlating with the sweater vendor just down the street.

    Buying underwear in the United States is a very impersonal undertaking.  One slips in the aisle unnoticed and emerges later with items tucked in the bottom of the shopping cart.  It becomes just another shopping ordeal that is necessary.  Imagine having a personal undergarment supplier with whom you have a loyal relationship similar to that of your barber or hair stylist.  Talk of the weather, new fashion, style recommendations, and gossip about the radio vendor’s wild kids could open up floodgates of friendship.  A person doesn’t usually think that such simple, unassuming articles of clothing can go virtually unnoticed, but yet have so much potential to bond people together

     Once we mastered the metro system here in Moscow and learned how to listen for our stops in Russian, we no longer had to be attentive to counting the number of stations or keeping a wary eye out for station names as we passed each stop. Instead, we have taken to getting a chapter or two knocked out of our favorite book or visiting amongst each other. On really long trips, we get more creative with our use of time. This past month, I took the familiar tune “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and put new Russian experiences in place of the traditional holiday symbols.

     On my first day in Moscow, the first thing that I saw: one babushka in the street. On the second day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: two fuzzy shopkas: On the third day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: three underwear vendors. On the fourth day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: four meat jellos. On the fifth day in Moscow the next thing that I saw: five golden domes. On the sixth day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: six inches of slippery ice. On the seventh day in Moscow the next thing that I saw: seven matroishka dolls. On the eighth day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: eight silver rubles. On the ninth day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: nine fresh hot blini. On the tenth day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: ten military men marching. On the eleventh day in Moscow, the next thing that I saw: eleven ballerinas dancing. On the twelfth day in Moscow, the last thing that I saw: twelve growling sabakas.

    This song can be sung in Russian with the first verse going, “ Na moi pervie deen va Moskva, eta perivia eta ya veezu, adeen babushka na oolitsa”. It must also be noted that these items are in the song because they are significant. The grandmas here are very active and visible, whether working in sanitation, selling vegetables and scarves or toting grandkids around. The fur hats that Russians are so famous for really are on everyone’s head in the winter. One of the more surprising things we found to purchase from the open-air markets was an assortment of male and female undergarments. Meat jello has been mentioned in a previous article, but it is worth noting again as we discovered that it is sold in single-serving containers with either beef or fish and vegetables. Golden domes top many famous churches. The ice that has so punished our bodies this winter claimed around 100 people per week this year with broken extremities. (Whew, we were so fortunate!). Matroishka dolls are very popular purchases and now that the snow has melted, many lost rubles are visible on the sidewalks near vendors. In celebrating spring, the Russians prepared mounds of fresh blini. With increased world and local tensions, there is an even larger police and military presence in the city. We have been able to view “Gizelle” and “The Nutcracker” ballets and last but not least, the dogs here are highly favored, so even the roving mutts are well fed. So, if you ever find yourself with lots of time on your hands, just look around and put your experiences into song...hope you enjoy ours!

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